Maybe It Doesn’t Have to Be So Hard

Photo by Bianca Ackermann on Unsplash

I’ve always prided myself on my ability to work hard. To dig deep. To push myself.

In fact, I was named Melissa because it means honey bee—a symbol of diligence and productivity. Fitting, right?

That work ethic is something my dad—whom I love and miss deeply—taught me to access. And it’s served me well. It helped me raise four kids, complete a half Ironman, earn a degree as an adult, and build a business from the ground up.

But lately, I’ve been wondering: What if what got me here isn’t what will get me where I want to go? Or help me become the person I long to be?

As leaders, we often talk about how hard change is. Whether it's change within an organization or within ourselves, we wear the difficulty like a badge of honor. Like it proves how committed or strong we are.

And yes—sometimes, life is hard. Really hard. For some of us, the most compassionate response is simply to name that truth. Those spaces call for tenderness and care.

But I’m also learning to try on new ways of being. I’m learning to access parts of myself that have always been there, just waiting for me to pay attention.

When I catch myself saying, “this is going to be so hard,” I’m starting to ask: What if it doesn’t have to be?

That possibility lets me exhale. It’s like setting down a heavy backpack—the one filled with all the pressure to “be better,” “get it right,” or “be enough.”

From that more centered place, the next right thing feels more accessible. More sustainable. More human.

So maybe—just maybe—everything doesn’t need to be so hard.